When Mom Stoops Down to Enter the Child's World: Filtering Out Inherited Parenting Patterns and Not Becoming the Parent You Disliked

Raising a child is a one-way street with no rehearsals.

We can only gain insight through learning and progress through exploration.

► Experts have said that it takes twenty-four years to raise a child.

Twenty-four years—what a long process. The hardships, joys, pains, and worries involved are truly immense...

▎A Child's "Selfishness" Is Not Their Fault

My child is so selfish; as soon as someone touches his toy, he yells, "That's mine!"

Children are born without a sense of self; they are one with the world. However, they constantly form a sense of self. Ages 2 to 3 are the growth stage of a child's self-awareness. At this stage, children long for the right to manage their own things, and their catchphrase is "mine." This is an expression of self-awareness; they distinguish themselves from others by possessing items that belong to them. Only by possessing an object can they feel the existence of "I." This is not the "selfish" behavior adults assume it to be.

▎Tell Your Child That the World Is Imperfect

Educate children from a young age to be good people! As long as I protect them well enough, they won't encounter bad people.

In front of children, we always try to cover up the dark side of the world, thinking this will allow them to only enjoy the warmth of the sun. But we never consider: if they only receive sunshine, what will they do when the day comes that they must face the darkness? The world itself is imperfect, with disappointments and ugliness. Children need immunity to this so they can have the ability to overcome various social adversities and know how to protect themselves in the world.

▎Allow Children to Be Vulnerable in the Face of Setbacks

Crying is a sign of weakness; you shouldn't show vulnerability, that's wrong; you should learn to be strong.

When children encounter setbacks and experience failure, they feel wronged and helpless; crying is a perfectly normal reaction. If children are not allowed to show their vulnerable side, they will become overly competitive and emotionally detached because they cannot honestly reveal themselves to others. The prerequisite for letting a child become strong is allowing them to depend on you. By letting children feel understood and supported, their hearts will become warm, and their personalities will be healthier, which is the foundation for making them strong.

★ Book Features: Through her own practical experiences and real cases witnessed over years of educational work, the author tells every loving mother how to use better methods to love their children. This book is both a parenting guide and a self-cultivation manual for mothers.